Post Lunch Oppo

"SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman" (dasborgen) 01/19/2016 at 13:45 • Filed to: None

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A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she’d like as a gift. “I’d like to be 6 again,” she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her birthday, he rose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a Disney movie, with popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed, exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, “Well dear, what was it like being 6 again?”

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

“I meant my dress size, you idiot!!!!”

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

Party-vi > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman 01/19/2016 at 13:48

6

My wife has not learned that unless I’m directly staring at her or I verbally acknowledge her presence, I am not listening.

For Sweden > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman 01/19/2016 at 13:49

6

Listening to others just gets in the way of listening to your engine

OPPOsaurus WRX > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman 01/19/2016 at 13:54

0

I’m guessing the chick in the pic would have to gain weight to be a size 6

Jcarr > Party-vi 01/19/2016 at 13:56

18

Amateur. I can stare straight at my wife and fail to hear what she says.

ttyymmnn > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman 01/19/2016 at 13:57

6

If a man says something in a forest, and a woman is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

BigBlock440 > Party-vi 01/19/2016 at 13:58

5

My wife has learned that and still continues to talk, then get frustrated when I ask her to repeat something. Hey, you were the one who walked in here and started talking to me while I was in the middle of something, you already knew how it was going to go.

The Ghost of Oppo > Jcarr 01/19/2016 at 13:58

2

In addition to that skill, I am a firm supporter of the “do it wrong once, never get asked to do it again” philosophy

RallyWrench > Party-vi 01/19/2016 at 13:58

10

We could easily get into a lot of dumb stereotypes here, but some are rooted in actual experience. My wife, after over 10 years together, refuses to believe that when I’m asked “what are you thinking about” and I respond with “nothing” that I am literally devoid of thought at that time. “I’m just staring at the wall” is apparently not believable.

Jcarr > The Ghost of Oppo 01/19/2016 at 13:59

0

Ah, that doesn’t seem to apply well in our house. My wife has more than one shrunken sweater as proof of that.

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > For Sweden 01/19/2016 at 14:07

4

Your engine’s not loud enough if you still have the option of listening to others

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > ttyymmnn 01/19/2016 at 14:08

3

Yes.

Spaceball-Two > OPPOsaurus WRX 01/19/2016 at 14:08

0

I thought the same thing. I’ve been married long enough to know that lady aint a 6. More like a 2.

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > ttyymmnn 01/19/2016 at 14:09

5

Sorry, what? I wasn’t listening...

Party-vi > Jcarr 01/19/2016 at 14:11

2

Truly, you are a master of your craft.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Party-vi 01/19/2016 at 14:14

3

“A high frequency hearing loss will affect a person’s ability to understand speech. People with high frequency hearing loss can hear vowels just fine, but what they can’t hear are the consonant sounds of F, S, T, and Z. Additionally, they are unable to hear higher octaves, like a woman’s or a child’s voice, or a bird chirping.”

It’s scientifically proven that high frequency hearing loss affects your ability to hear a woman speak. That’s what I’ve been telling my wife for the last 10 years.

.

ttyymmnn > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 01/19/2016 at 14:16

4

As a professional musician, who spends hours sitting in front of the trombone section, I have tinnitis and I’m sure my hearing has been affected. I will now claim that science, and workplace injury, makes it impossible to hear my wife.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > RallyWrench 01/19/2016 at 14:19

8

This happened to me years ago, just before the release of the first Acura Legend. In the middle (well, it turned out to be the end) of a make out session, my girlfriend asked what I was thinking about. She slugged me when my response was “fuel-injected V6 Hondas”. Hey, if you don’t like the answer, perhaps you should reconsider the question...

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman 01/19/2016 at 14:38

0

Men always get it wrong.

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 01/19/2016 at 14:40

2

ok, that’s pretty hilarious. LOL

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 01/19/2016 at 14:59

3

Add to that that I literally have high frequency hearing loss(I swear I’m not making this up I have hearing aids and everything)

I’m borderline legally deaf. My hearing cut’s out at around 195hz and most female speech is between 165hz-255hz.

I’ve told my wife MANY times MAKE SURE YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION! Before telling a long story as in make sure that I know you are talking to me as if I don’t make an honest effort to hear you female speech just becomes ambient noise.

What you are saying is a very real thing except it only affects a fraction of the people that actually use it as an excuse not to listen to their wife.

Nibbles > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman 01/19/2016 at 15:52

1

Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she’d like as a gift. “I’d like to be 6 again,”...

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

He... lovingly asked, “Well dear, what was it like being 6 again?”

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong. he is still provided ambiguous data and is required to either ask for clarification or work with what is given.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Nibbles 01/19/2016 at 20:51

0

The most accurate reply here.

shop-teacher > Jcarr 01/19/2016 at 23:27

1

According to my wife, sometimes I even acknowledge her when I’m looking right at her and not hearing a word She says. I guess I’ll have to take her word for it.

gergey - Wishes vette was Datsun > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 01/19/2016 at 23:39

1

My new hero <3